IKEA TO EMPLOY “SOCIAL DISTANCE WARDENS” TO PATROL SHOPPERS
BY PAUL JOSEPH WATSON
IKEA is set to employ “social distance wardens” who tell people how to behave in stores as a whole new jobs market for Karens is created.
The Swedish furniture giant announced today that it would open 19 of its stores across the UK on June 1st.
However, families hoping to make a day of visiting the store can forget about it – only one adult and one child per household is allowed.
“Other measures to ensure safer trading during the coronavirus outbreak include “social distance wardens” to help shoppers navigate a new one-way system,” reports the Guardian. Get ready; Our whole society is about to be patrolled by a new breed of busy-bodies telling you how to behave, where to stand, where to sit, where you can walk.
Karens all over the world are rejoicing at the prospect of getting paid for what they love the most – interfering in other people’s business.
All this in response to a virus which, according to the CDC, has a fatality rate of 0.26%, making it no more deadly than a bad bout of seasonal flu.
We’re pedantically re-arranging our entire society around social distancing cringe and empowering an army of new enforcers to make our lives miserable.
All in the name of transitioning out of a lockdown which, according to innumerable experts, will be responsible for more deaths than coronavirus itself.
Genius.